That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
