when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...