You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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