Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(949): View more from California

Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.

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(785): View more from Kansas

Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.

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(248): View more from Michigan

To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....

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(931): View more from Tennessee

He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".

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(352): View more from Florida

he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled

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(573): View more from Missouri

Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.

(1-573): View more from Missouri

Mardi gras at its finest.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.

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(207): View more from Maine

My farts smell like burning tires and false courage

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