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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation

  Fav 12 1962 918

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.

  Fav 5 3566 2069

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.

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  Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa

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• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (714): View more from California

  I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.

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• (607): View more from New York

  She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam

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• (352): View more from Florida

  A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.

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