Your tits are I can't wait for
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
