what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
