I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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