i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
