This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
