I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
