Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Still dying that you shit outside
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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