I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
