I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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