Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
