Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You're like the curious george of whores
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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