What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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