If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
