Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
