You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
