Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
