they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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