do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
