I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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