YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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