THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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