You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
