I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
In America we eat man semen.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
jump out the window naked night went bad
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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