i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
