I accidentally had phone sex last night
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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