I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
