Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize
