I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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