is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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