I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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