So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
