it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
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