Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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