This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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