she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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