pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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