dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
you had me at cake vodka
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
