My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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