I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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