i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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