How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
