you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
