My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
