Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
