Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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