let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Sober January is a disaster.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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