It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
