he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
