so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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