Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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