Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
