Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize