I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Someone shattered a urinal.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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