but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
