these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
